Hey Roguelings...

I've had a...day. It started off really really heavy and then turned brain numbing dealing with California tax law and banking and blah blah blah in preparation for some business switches I'm making - all to make my life easier, hopefully, and none of it will affect you. 

This morning, though, was sad, unexpected, and surreal. I'm still in shock about it, I think. I'm processing "out loud" here, so I apologize if this is heavy for you too - but it feels important to share for some reason.

My sister called me crying, and told me a man my mother was engaged to for a number of years (before and during my elementary school years) had passed away.

We had good memories with him - he was like a stepfather to us - but still, I was surprised she was so emotional. Sad, yes - of course. But to the extent she was broken up didn't seem like my sister. We haven't spoken to or seen him in at least thirty years. I figured he'd long moved on from us, maybe even started a new family of his own. I don't even know where he lives.

Then she told me the story...

Apparently, he found out he was terminally ill on his birthday, June 1, 2025 and was admitted to the hospital. He had been searching for us to reconnect for a while. To what extent, I don't know.

My sister was contacted by a friend, of a friend, of a friend, asking her to reach out to a women neither of us have ever met or heard of, and when they finally connected, the woman (his wife) told her than he'd passed away on September 1. She told my sister that he never stopped loving us, that he talked about us all the time, wondered what we were doing, and that, when he couldn't find us to put us in his will, he set something aside for us. 

It hurts my heart to think he cared so much for us and was never able to reconnect. And that if we had known, we would have loved to see him and talked with him one last time.

I'm not sure why I'm sharing this with you, other than to be real and vulnerable. To process that it feels like a dream and a story that isn't my life - like something I would write about, not live.

And to mourn and recognize a man who I have happy memories with - going on road trips, being in the redwoods, teaching me how to play backgammon at 7 years old - I'm still really good!

He had an infectious laugh, reminded me of Hulk Hogan, and now he's gone. I am sad I couldn't say goodbye to someone who had so much love in his heart for me and my sister.

It's another reminder that time is precious. Memories mean something. And we all leave our mark on people in one way or another. This is a reminder for myself as much as for you, I guess. 

I hope you find something to be grateful for this week and celebrate the good memories. It's easy to forget them, which is sad in and of itself.

I'm going to work on Darkborn tomorrow, so that will make me feel a little brighter. :)

Thank you for reading this and supporting me. You're are some of my favorite memories. 

🩵 Linds